Even burglars fall in love, and in this case, it's Bernie doing the falling, with the lovely and alluring Ilona. Night after night, sharing popcorn in the flickering shadow of a Bogie movie, Bernie finds himself tongue-tied - sometimes literally. It would appear Ilona's now doing all the stealing. Well, not really. Bernie's been approached by the oddly named Hugo Candlemas to pilfer a posh East Side apartment, make off with a portfolio and collect a fast, easy sum. A reasonable enough request for a trained burglar, sure, but just when things are going well, things turn bad. Bernie's nocturnal visit is interrupted, and he ends up going home empty-handed. If this wasn't bad enough, Hugo Candlemas turns up missing, and Ray Kirschmann, New York City detective-extraordinaire, comes looking for answers. A body has been found at Candlemas's residence, and there's evidence linking Bernie to the crime. For once, though, Kirschmann doesn't think Bernie's the guilty party. But he does want his help.